Saturday, October 15, 2016

A week in the life...and lessons in flexibility

This weeks cocktail napkin looks like;
  • Un-Pack vacation bags
  • File hurricane insurance claim
  • Pack hospital bag
  • Call dr1, remind him to call dr2 (remind them to stop being egomaniacs so they can work together,  if you accomplish that, apply for job at the U.N.)
  • Schedule swim lessons
  • Confirm surgery time
  • Confirm when no more wine can be had!!!
  • Finish vacation wine before above time
  • Meet realtor to view house you are in love with
  • Confirm with Dr how long after anesthesia, you should wait before bidding on said house


  • Surgery


  • Read last 6mo of US Weekly
  • Watch all Real Hosewives of anywhere, US (except Miami)
  • Download candy crush (again)

My brainiac tumor board "party of 20" have convened and after a lot of shoulder shrugging and raised eyebrows we have decided to go ahead and cut that damn mass out.  Apparently, my insides are like Slimey the ghost.   

So, if this mass is in or a part of that Slimey mess,  any attempt to biopsy, or suck it out could spread it.  Now, it may not be cancer but because it is tucked deep, deep in my gut, and surrounded by grossness,  the plan is to just go in and slice out the chuck of my small intestine that is wrapped around it, so that they do not disturb the little jerk.

I am imagining it will look something like this; Go ahead and click the pick if you want a DIY recipe for Homemade Halloween Slime :-)
 If you would like to make your own Halloween slime,  Click Here

My initial reaction was a bit of pouting because recovering the last time they took out a chunk of my intestines was not fun They assure me they are taking out a much smaller chunk this time though, I am not certain that makes a difference.  They have not 'technically' agreed to make certain I come out of surgery a size 4,  but I have given them permission to suck out any fat cells that get in their way so if my post surgery selfies look suspiciously like Jess but with the body of Giselle,  well,  I suppose I will owe those doctors that case of beer that I promised them. 

I am typing this as we drive from an amazing vacation and while this vacation was a lesson in patience and flexibility thanks to Hurricane Matthew and a town under water, it was a week of memories that I will cherish forever.

This morning, Bean and I got up to continue a 6 year tradition of watching the sunrise on our last day of vacation and we sat in the early morning rays,  wrapped in a tattered quilt next to amazing friends and I was reminded that these experiences and these memories and just being with the people you love is the most important thing.

So, as we head home,  I am planning the next 48 hours and trying desperately to not to over plan in a fit of panic because Tuesday morning, I go into surgery and will be in the hospital for the next week or so. Last time, I was caught off guard and had no warning so I am comforted a bit at being able to coordinate Beans schedule before I check in but if I know me I will end up in a tailspin at the end no matter how calm I try to keep things.

So if you think about it on Tuesday,  say a little prayer or send some good juju into the world because fingers crossed,  this mass is all that gum I swallowed as a teenager and not the return of cancer.  

1 comment:

  1. I will definitely be thinking of you and sending love and good thoughts your way! Love ya cuz!


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